What do say when someone dies

Share a memory If you knew the person who has died, you could also share a memory or say what they meant to you. Tell them however they feel is OK People who are grieving can experience a huge range of emotions, including shock, sadness, pain, anger, guilt, anxiety and numbness.

Recognise how hard it is for them When someone is going through a bereavement , you may want to take their pain away. Ask if there is anything they need You may want to help but not know how. Avoid trying to fix things It can be tempting to try and make someone who is grieving feel better. Avoid setting expectations around how long grief will last Most people find ways to cope with their grief and feel better over time.

Further bereavement support and information Supporting someone who has been bereaved Keep it real: what to write in a bereavement card. Coping with grief and bereavement To help you through this difficult time, we have information and practical advice on coping with grief and bereavement.

Find out more. The feeling will come across and it is more important that you say something than that you find the perfect words. It can be heart-breaking for the bereaved person when people stop mentioning the person who died.

Sometimes you might really want to help but just feel unsure about how to start. When you are listening to someone who is grieving, your role is not to fix their problem. You both know you cannot bring the person they have lost back. But just being with someone through their experience can be an enormous help. Samaritans offer some tips on how to be a good listener.

Every bereavement is different and every relationship is different. These are also very painful losses but now is the time to listen rather than share. Even if the person was suffering, or your bereaved friend or relative was in a difficult and stressful caring role, the loss of someone can be both a shock and incredibly painful. When someone has lost a partner, talking about future relationships might make them feel you are devaluing the person who has died, or the pain they are in.

If and when to consider a new relationship is a very personal decision. Your friend or relative needs time to feel sad and miss the person they have lost, even if they have other wonderful people in their life. So the emphasis is on you to ask if they need or would like any help. Remember to only offer assistance if you can truly follow through with it.

The last thing they will want is someone flaky not helping when they promised to do so. Losing someone special from your life will be devastating. All of that is necessary when going through a grieving process. And that means having someone to listen. So just being there for and listening to the bereaved, rather than having anything specifically to say, is one of the best things you can do.

This was touched upon when talking about how important listening is. You should avoid comparing deaths though. Each loss is different and unique. Keep it fairly general and maybe focus on how you coped and what helped.

Sharing memories of the passed loved one might seem inappropriate but done in the correct way it can be a lovely way to remember them.

Keep it positive and light — maybe a funny anecdote or moment that you had with them. Anything that shines a light on the type of person they were and the good memories you had of them.

Healing after a loss can take a long time and having people around you throughout that time is vital for most of us.

Anniversaries and big holidays can be especially tough so having support then is essential. Try to make an effort to stay in touch during these difficult moments. Crying is a natural reaction. You should neither encourage or discourage someone from doing it.

If they feel the need to then comfort them. Local knowledge and expertise. What to say when someone dies It can be hard to find the right words when someone you know is grieving.

Death is the last great taboo, and its consequence, grief, is profoundly misunderstood. Do more than text a message offering help, show up with food, or practical assistance. If you are a close friend be there for the long haul, not just the immediate aftermath.

Be honest - honesty is comforting and easy to deal with. Be Sensitive - to their needs, not promiscuous honesty, and remember the loss is not about you.

Making a connection How the bereaved manage the grief process, and how we respond to them will have a big impact on their outcome.